Difference between revisions of "Twin swords"

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Critics often describe attempts to translate heptarchate or hexarchate poetry into English as unsuccessful, since English metrical traditions are not naturally compatible with high language poetic forms.  One possible rendering uses iambs:
 
Critics often describe attempts to translate heptarchate or hexarchate poetry into English as unsuccessful, since English metrical traditions are not naturally compatible with high language poetic forms.  One possible rendering uses iambs:
  
The scholar's strike falls quiet in his hand:
+
:The scholar's strike falls quiet in his hand:<br />
its force thrums to a hasty block.
+
:its force thrums to a hasty block.<br />
His guard's a plain brushed gray against his glove,
+
:His guard's a plain brushed gray against his glove,<br />
his gray eyes catch like binding steel.
+
:his gray eyes catch like binding steel.<br />
The soldier twists and thrusts inside the line.  His sword,
+
:The soldier twists and thrusts inside the line.  His sword,<br />
hilt filigreed
+
:hilt filigreed<br />
with vines and feints and interlocking lies, must pierce--
+
:with vines and feints and interlocking lies, must pierce--<br />
is it not strange
+
:is it not strange<br />
the brighter sword is sliding
+
:the brighter sword is sliding<br />
into a  blackened scabbard
+
:into a  blackened scabbard<br />
and the gray blade is sheathed  
+
:and the gray blade is sheathed<br />
within a jeweled case.
+
:within a jeweled case.
  
 
Another option is to follow the sequence in a literal syllable count:
 
Another option is to follow the sequence in a literal syllable count:
  
Strike with a still hand:
+
:Strike with a still hand:<br />
block captures force.
+
:block captures force.<br />
Dull gray guard, black glove,
+
:Dull gray guard, black glove,<br />
gray eyes, steel binds.
+
:gray eyes, steel binds.<br />
Twisting and thrusting straight,
+
:Twisting and thrusting straight,<br />
leaves twine
+
:leaves twine<br />
hilt for feints, tip to pierce.
+
:hilt for feints, tip to pierce.<br />
So strange:
+
:So strange:<br />
bright sword slides
+
:bright sword slides<br />
in black sheath,
+
:in black sheath,<br />
gray blade in
+
:gray blade in<br />
shining case.
+
:shining case.
  
 
[[Category:Worldbuilding]]
 
[[Category:Worldbuilding]]

Latest revision as of 18:49, 18 November 2017

"Twin swords" is a poem by Kel Zem Rao.

Form

In Zem Rao's lifetime, the poem's form, based on the sequence 5,4,6,2,3, was associated with the Rahal. The number 5 generates the group of units of the field of seven elements, and thus under the heptarchate this sequence (together with an implied identity element) was considered a natural choice for an orderly mind. Some heptarchate writers speculated that the poem has an internal loop implied by the potential placement of the identity element at the beginning or end of the sequence, allowing for reading of the stanzas in different orders. For example, one might choose to end the poem after "strange" and begin with the image of matching scabbards for which the poem is often remembered.

Under the hexarchate, this form was ascribed to the Nirai, due to the broader Nirai tradition of writing one poem for each possible permutation of six elements.

Translations

Critics often describe attempts to translate heptarchate or hexarchate poetry into English as unsuccessful, since English metrical traditions are not naturally compatible with high language poetic forms. One possible rendering uses iambs:

The scholar's strike falls quiet in his hand:
its force thrums to a hasty block.
His guard's a plain brushed gray against his glove,
his gray eyes catch like binding steel.
The soldier twists and thrusts inside the line. His sword,
hilt filigreed
with vines and feints and interlocking lies, must pierce--
is it not strange
the brighter sword is sliding
into a blackened scabbard
and the gray blade is sheathed
within a jeweled case.

Another option is to follow the sequence in a literal syllable count:

Strike with a still hand:
block captures force.
Dull gray guard, black glove,
gray eyes, steel binds.
Twisting and thrusting straight,
leaves twine
hilt for feints, tip to pierce.
So strange:
bright sword slides
in black sheath,
gray blade in
shining case.